Wedding Crasher- That's Not My Husband
by Metonymicmortal
Summary: Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are Getting married. The Wedding itself is going as expected but something's wrong. Wei WuXian isn't acting like himself.


I had a dream about this but I still didn't want to write about it, it was all peer pressure. Lol

I'm low-key giving them a slightly personalized westernized wedding. Because it would be funny and I'm lazy. This isn't a modern AU, it's just westernized. So everyone's in suits.

Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui were both kept preoccupied by the entire affair. Without their footwork and devotion, the wedding would have never been prepared in as short a time as two months.

Jin Ling took care of most of Wei Ying's affairs, whereas Lan Sizhui took care of most of Lan Zhan's. Lan Sizhui seemed more than happy to help, managing to do even the most difficult tasks like: convincing Lan Qiren to walk Lan Wangji down the aisle.

Jin Ling wasn't entirely accustomed to arranging things for others, would probably make the worst personal assistant, so he actually forgot most of the details. If that wasn't already enough trouble, he spent most of his time annoying Wei WuXian.

Lan Xichen approached both children, discussing behind a seating area discreetly, he had a warm smile on his face and leisurely interrupted them. Effectively scaring the shit out of Jin Ling.

Lan Xichen, "As we spoke of earlier, young master Ling, young master Wei WuXian will walk down the aisle to begin the ceremony...It is almost time, is it not? Who is his escort?"

Jin Ling shot up from where he was crouching and gave a quick glance at sizhui, "I thought he already figured it out for himself." He was wearing a stubborn face but it was red, maybe that's what he and Sizhui were just discussing?

Lan Xichen wasn't upset, "Young master, if you don't mind me commenting… Who pays most attention to tradition and formality? The answer surely wouldn't be my brother-in-law to be…" Though this definitely was a bit of a jab at Wei WuXian, it was even more so at Jin Ling who ought to have known that you can't leave jack-shit for Wei WuXian to do if it means adhering to traditional expectations.

Lan Sizhui patted his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. "Not to worry, we'll find someone to hand him off… It shouldn't be too hard."

Jin Ling's scoff caught both Lan Sizhui and Lan Xichen off guard. "Oh yeah? Find me one of his relatives. I'm the expert of knowing how dead they are."

Their brows all creased as there was a deeper voice approaching from the back of the room, "Actually, that would be me." Jiang Cheng said, fixing the cuffs of his suit. There was the faint sound of a bell chiming as his footsteps sounded.

Getting the impression that Jiang Cheng overheard the majority of their discussion, and trying to deduce what the angry eggplant implied, Lan Sizhui was confounded when he asked: "You would walk him down the aisle?"

Jiang Cheng clicked his tongue and turned his gaze away.

Lan Xichen's warm smile became a big bright smile, lifting the gloom settling on the four of them. "He will no doubt be very happy if it is you."

Most of the guests were present, they didn't take up the entire seating area. Wei Wuxian mostly made it a point to exclusively invite all the kids from each sect. In contrast to Lan Wangji who didn't give Lan Sizhui any clear instructions on who to invite on his behalf, so he decided it would probably be better to follow customs and invite the sects, extended family and work affiliates. Most of the wedding's attendees were here for Lan Wangji.

Which made everything even more fun, Wei WuXian said after initially seeing the crowd from afar. Wei Ying wasn't allowed to see Lan Zhan after the decided to begin preparing in earnest for the ceremony, now that he was dressed up, he still had to stay out of the way until it began. He wasn't all that nervous but he was excited enough that his heart wouldn't calm down.

To burn energy he relied on his favorite method of exercise: mischief. He could see Lan Sizhui from the second floor where he was hiding. Wiggling his eyebrows up and down until he caught his attention. Lan Sizhui just waved him back, making motion at the crowd and back as if to say '_not yet, not yet! Go back, go back.' _The three people who were surrounding him looked up at the direction he was gesturing in. Wei WuXian's initial buzz was killed by the lack of interaction.

He got up to go back to the waiting room when he bumped into someone in black formal attire more suited for a funeral than a wedding. His eyebrows shot up, then his eyes squinted as he contemplated something.

The figure, "Oh- they say it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding." It was a distinct twisted voice that Wei Wuxian recognized from somewhere but couldn't quite remember where.

"Well, I'm not marrying you so it's fine." He straightened himself up and turned to face the person's back. "Aren't you suspicious hanging out backstage before the show?"

The Figure, "I have my part to play." He chuckled lightly, but despite how genuinely soft and easy going the laugh was, it made Wei WuXian very uneasy.

Soon, it occurred to Wei WuXian who this person was! Though, it was no wonder he couldn't place the person in his head to begin with. How could he have expected such a person to attend his wedding? He whistled. "Wow. Sorry for not recognizing you until now but I didn't expect to see you at all. What could you possibly want to attend my wedding for?"

The figure turned around, smiling creepily and yet amiably. He smacked his shoulder into place in a quick smooth motion and cracked his neck before answering playfully. "You should expect I would come to play with you~"

Wei WuXian internally grieved his beautiful suit as he took a defensive stance.

"That won't be necessary." The figure said, taking an item from his pocket. "I knew fighting would alert all of the extremely capable people attending your precious ceremony so I borrowed this handy device from a friend. Good thing your fiance so diligently follows customs- no one is with you and no one will be the wiser if I don't have to use any spiritual energy."

Wei Ying eyed the jeweled locket in the man's hand, his expression tense. He didn't know what kind of enchantment was on it but with the benefit of forethought, he was certain it already placed him at a disadvantage at the very least in this situation.

The man was also right in that even Lan Zhan was avoiding Wei Ying as to respect the customs of marriage, so he really was intentionally left alone. No one was currently guarding him, it was so close to the beginning of the ceremony and he was already dressed and prepared. So no one was currently looking for him.

"If I scream, I can still alert everyone." Wei Ying said, feeling out his opponents reaction.

"As much as that could help you, you have no idea what's in my hand and what I've prepared. Can you chance angering me?" He grinned.

"Tch." Wei Ying was about to Wei WuXian-it, grabbing onto the back of a chair nearby when footsteps could be heard down the hall behind him. Wei Ying cursed as he whipped his head around to catch the figures counter.

To his surprise, the figure wasn't even in a fighting stance, he just came closer with his hand reaching out towards Wei Ying. Holding the locket out until the jewel touched Wei Ying's forehead. In that moment there was a faint red glow that surrounded Wei Ying and he disappeared!

Jiang Cheng walked past a chair slightly ajar in the hallway. He paused and kicked the chair impatiently- yeeting it into the middle. He was about to knock on the nearest door when he paused again, slowly returning his gaze to the chair. He sighed, grabbing the chair testilly and placed it square against the wall.

Back at the door, "Wei WuXian. Aren't you ready?" He said impatiently while tapping his foot, his dress shoes made crisp 'tok' sounds as they bobbed.

The door opened slightly, Wei Wuxian was fixing his bowtie and had yet to place his suit jacket over his shoulders properly. His hair seemed a little messy.

"You hear that? The music has already started and you aren't even dressed, didn't we have someone come help you earlier?" Jiang Cheng chided.

There was a strange smile on Wei WuXian's face. Jiang Cheng was used to him being nonchalant or mischievious and expected no less even during his wedding but this smile didn't exactly suit either. It seemed more calculating.

Jiang Cheng sighed, "...If you're too busy plotting against your own guests, it's useless. Lan Sizhui and Lan Wangji already prepared backup beverages for the Gusu Lan guests to avoid you feeding them liquor-"

Wei WuXian burst out laughing as if Jiang Cheng just told the funniest joke. "That would have been priceless! I'm truly too good natured-" wiping tears from his face, Wei WuXian fixes the jacket onto his person and straightens up. "I'll have to do you guys one better." He said with a somewhat distant look on his face, his tone seems more aggressive than usual yet he spoke mundane words.

Jiang Cheng's brows creased. "Wei Ying…" He said in a more serious tone, maybe even said. Wei WuXian lifted his brows. "Shijie would be happy to see you where you are today… Of all the things, don't sabotage your own wedding, alright? I'll walk you down the aisle."

"Oh. Thanks… Brother." Wei Wuxian said, wrapping his arm in Jiang Cheng's. Jiang Cheng was a little surprised at the lack of emotion but also the address.

Maybe Wei Ying really was nervous, for once?

Lan Wangji was led down the aisle by Lan Qiren. Unlike what you'd expect at a wedding, like a dewy-eyed parent giving away their child, Lan Qiren looked like he was sentencing his child to death.

Everyone was quiet. The only people who seemed to approve are Wei Ying's guests- the kids. Who all seemed genuinely eager and happy. Lan Wangji's heart softened, even though his face was not.

Lan Wangji walked up to the altar, Lan Qiren took his seat. He quickly observed his wedding. He had chosen his brother as his best man, Wei Ying had chosen Jiang Cheng. They hadn't chosen anyone else to accompany them.

Wei Ying was wearing a clean dark grey suit with a rich red and black striped waistcoat and deep beautiful red dress shirt and bowtie. His sharp grooming and gorgeous braided hair framed his face in a foreign splendor. If Wei Ying always put effort into his appearance like this, it would make it difficult for Lan Wangji to keep his composure.

He expected Wei Ying to start blabbing as soon as they were together, despite the situation. Bracing himself but excited, wangji waited. Soon, the wedding official started delivering his lines un-interrupted. Lan Wangji shot Wei Ying a questioning look.

Wei Ying looked him in the eye, observing him. As if he didn't know what the look was for. If anyone knew Lan Wangji, aside from his brother, it was Wei Ying. Lan Wangji was becoming more confused as the wedding proceeded un-interrupted.

For once, it was Lan Wangji who wasn't paying enough attention to the wedding, he was observing Wei Ying. Something didn't seem right.

The wedding official prompted Lan Wangji to say his vows. After a pause and a glance at his brother with a worried expression- that caught Lan Xichen by surprise- Lan Wangji took out his GuQin and quietly played his vows for Wei Ying.

Lan Xichen was officially worried. He'd heard Lan Wangji practice his vows for Wei WuXian for a month before the wedding, it didn't sound anything like this. What further worried him was that Wei WuXian didn't seem to react or find anything wrong with the vow at all. His brows creased.

A lot of guests awed at the beauty and creativity of the unspoken vow. Wei Wuxian had an uncharacteristically gentle and calm demeanor.

Jiang Cheng shot a look at Lan Xichen from across the altar.

The Wedding Official gestured at Wei WuXian to say his vows in return. Wei WuXian smiled at everyone, put his hands behind his head leisurely and swayed his hip. "I don't have any vows prepared~"

A few people in the audience laughed, shaking their heads as if they expected it.

Jin Ling tugged at Lan Sizhui's sleeve. Lan Sizhui, "Hm?"

Jin Ling had a confused look on his face. "A-Zhui, this isn't right."

Lan Sizhui tilted his head. "What isn't right?"

Jin Ling hesitantly looked up at the scene made by Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, "Look, I was with him the entire time we planned the wedding and he racked his brains writing his vows."

Lan Sizhui's cheeks became a little pink and he laughed at himself a bit. "Senior Wei wrote vows so seriously? Why isn't he saying them?"

Now both children were confused, looking at Wei WuXian shamelessly playing around in front of all his guests.

Jin Ling, "I expected him to do something stupid but this…"

At the front Jiang Cheng, being who he is, couldn't take it anymore. He shot Lan Xichen an apologetic look before curling up his lips out of anger. Grabbing Wei WuXian's shoulder firmly. "What did I tell you about sabotaging your own wedding? You'll make shijie cry."

Wei WuXian apathetically shooed him away. "Shiji can cry. I didn't prepare anything so what else can I say?" He said this in a playful tone that made Jiang Cheng's blood boil.

Jiang cheng leaned in closer, whispering harshly in his ear. Wangji watched with a characteristically cold face. "Say something nice, many people who don't even approve of you came with goodwill so you better take this seriously."

Wei Wuxian flicked Jiang Cheng's hand off his shoulder coldly. At this Jiang Cheng, Jin Ling and Lan Xichen all had their own shocked expressions.

Wei Wuxian smirked, grabbed Lan Wangji by the waist and pulled him in closer. His face was sweet but there was murder in his eyes. "I promise to show you a good time." He vowed.


End file.
